It was Alynne’s birthday yesterday (yes, I know, another pseudonym!). I should probably have attempted to make reference to First Contact, but something a family member said made me think of the relationship between candles and birthdays instead.

As it stands, the tradition holds that we get one candle for every year we’ve been alive–maybe a few more from other wishing traditions. Small children get a few candles. Teenagers get their due. But once we’re past the teenage years we get lazy! People get an ill-defined, “large” amount of candles–or perhaps just a few, depending on the importance of birthdays within each particular family. By the time we’re octogenarians we get a few candles which we can (only feebly) blow out.

Shouldn’t this work in reverse? When I’m ancient, I don’t think I’ll care that much how many candles I’ve got but I will want to blow out however many candles I get. Similarly, children get a boat-load of fun out of blowing out candles, so why do we give them so few?

I decree that each person should be given a number of candles equal to 100 minus his or her age!

–Evhelm